I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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