Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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