he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
