I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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