You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
