There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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