Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
