this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize