Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
