he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
