In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Quick, to the slutcave!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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