Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Couch. On fire.