He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...