omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
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You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
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Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.