I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
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I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
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he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila