The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
