Where did you get a picture of my penis
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
