thus making me awesome and them whores
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's no shave November. This is our time.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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