Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
