Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Randomize
