The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
