ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
