just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
