sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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