she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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