Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
