the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
