dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
