what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
