First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
