Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(229): View more from Georgia

so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.

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(512): View more from Texas

Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.

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(661): View more from California

God gave him joint rollers for hands

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(615): View more from Tennessee

He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again

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(949): View more from California

At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?

(714): View more from California

I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.

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