Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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