There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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