If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Randomize
