i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
