I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
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I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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