get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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