You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
