You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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