I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
