Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
