If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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