Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
