If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
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My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
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There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I am one with the molecules
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
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