Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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