She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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