Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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