the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Just pee around me
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
