I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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