so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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