Your mouth is God's brothel.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
