Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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