He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How does one acquire holy water?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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