she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Randomize
