some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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