No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Drunk is not a location!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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