Screwed.edu
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
