you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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