i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
