Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
